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  ‘We wait.’

  It turns out that we don’t have to wait for long. I return with Kelly to check on Celine a few hours later and she’s well on the way. Her baby boy is born at midnight.

  I get to bed by two and I’m up again at six to help with the papers. After a morning in the shop, I check up on Frosty, who has made such a miraculous recovery from her ordeal that Maz wants to send her to the rescue centre on Monday. I volunteer to take Frosty there myself. Maz seems so pleased to have one thing less to arrange that I can’t back out when I reconsider a couple of seconds later.

  Next, I decide to go and see Emily at the farm. She’s Seemed a bit down the last couple of times I’ve spoken to her on the phone, and I’m worried that looking after Poppy – who has an increasing aversion to her baby sister – is too much for her.

  ‘Isn’t Murray about?’ I say when I find her sitting in the living room in front of some television cookery show, with Daisy crying in the Moses basket and Poppy thumping around in a strop about running out of her favourite biscuits.

  ‘He’s working today.’

  ‘Why don’t we go out somewhere?’

  ‘I’m not sure I can be bothered. It’s a lovely offer, but it’s a nightmare getting everyone ready.’

  ‘I think it will cheer everyone up.’ I look out at the rain. ‘The weather’s lousy and you’re stuck indoors when we could be having cake or ice cream at the garden centre.’

  ‘Can we, Auntie Zara?’ says Poppy, immediately pricking up her ears. ‘Can we have chocolate cake?’

  ‘I expect so,’ I smile. ‘Why don’t you find your coat and hat while I get Daisy ready? Emily, go and brush your hair. You look like you forgot this morning.’

  ‘OMG, I did. I’m not sure I cleaned my teeth either.’

  ‘Naughty Mummy,’ Poppy scolds.

  ‘Go on, both of you.’ I pick Daisy out of the Moses basket, check her nappy and choose a knitted hat from the stack of woolly items that Gran, Murray’s mother and the WI have presented to the baby since her arrival. ‘What do you think of that one, niece-let?’ I say lightly as Daisy continues to whimper, staring at me slightly boss-eyed. ‘You remember me.’ I slip the hat onto her head – it’s bright pink and yellow – before holding her close and rocking her gently as I sing a rendition of ‘If You Don’t Know Me By Now . . .’

  When I look up, I find Emily and Poppy and, worst of all, Lewis, huddled together in the doorway, laughing.

  ‘I’m sorry to say that you aren’t through to the next round/my sister says.

  ‘I disagree,’ Lewis cuts in. ‘In my opinion, Zara definitely has the X Factor.’

  ‘So you’d put her through to boot camp, if only to give her the opportunity to learn to sing,’ Emily jokes.

  ‘Daisy likes it,’ I point out, blushing. ‘Look, she’s stopped crying.’

  ‘We’re just off for a coffee,’ Emily says. ‘What was it you wanted, Lewis?’

  ‘I saw Zara’s car. I wanted to say hi, and well done for rescuing that dog.’

  ‘You heard?’

  ‘Emily told me. Your gran mentioned it too when I went into the shop.’

  ‘Gran said you’d been in,’ I say, and then it occurs to me that this could be divine intervention, a chance to spend some time alone with him. ‘Look, I know it’s a bit of a cheek and you have lots of other things to do, and I’m not sure your boss –’ I glance towards Emily –’ will let you have the time off, but I offered to take the dog to the rescue centre on Monday.’

  ‘You did what?’ Emily exclaims. ‘You’re scared of dogs.’

  ‘Thanks to Lewis, I feel a bit better about them.’

  I notice how Emily raises one eyebrow. I’m not going to hear the end of this. She’ll tease me without mercy.

  ‘I was surprised when I heard you’d taken a dog to the vet by yourself,’ Lewis says.

  ‘I couldn’t leave her there, could I?’

  ‘I’m impressed.’

  ‘It wasn’t as hard as it sounds. I remembered Mick and how sweet he was, and saw how scared she was and how she was depending on me.’ I pause. ‘Anyway, Maz mentioned that they were really too busy to spare a member of staff to take the dog to the Sanctuary, so I kind of found myself offering. I feel responsible for her in a way, and I’d like to make sure she’s okay, but she’s rather lively now and I’m not sure I’ll manage her.’

  ‘I’ll come with you,’ Lewis says.

  ‘Have you run that past your boss?’ Emily interrupts.

  ‘Well,no . . .’

  ‘Don’t look so worried. I’m sure Murray can spare you for a couple of hours.’

  ‘Thanks, Emily. I’ll drive, Zara. You can’t possibly put a dog in the boot of your car with all your medical gear.’

  ‘I was going to put her on the back seat.’

  ‘She won’t stay there, will she? You’d have to buy a travel harness. No, I’ll take you.’ Lewis gazes at me with a hint of mischief in his eyes and I blush again – furiously. ‘I’ll pick you up from yours on Monday – you say a time.’

  ‘Nine thirty?’

  ‘That’s good for me. I’ll see you then. Cheers everyone.’

  ‘Bye-bye, Lewis,’ Poppy says. ‘Can I feed the lambs?’

  ‘Perhaps when you get back if your mummy says it’s okay.’

  ‘It is,’ Emily says, turning to me as Lewis heads back out to the yard, climbs up into the tractor and drives away through the driving rain. ‘Larry has company. We have four orphan and rejected lambs now.’ She grins. ‘You didn’t have to go to the trouble of rescuing an abandoned dog as an excuse to spend time with our shepherd.’

  ‘I know.’ I grin back at her. ‘Let’s go.’

  I take Emily and the two girls to the garden centre on Stoney Lane. To Poppy it’s like a treasure chest filled with all kinds of desirable items, from windmills on sticks to jolly red-faced gnomes who look as if they’ve been on the beer, to gaudy plastic ladybirds and frogs with solar lamps embedded in their heads, making them look like amphibious miners.

  ‘I never thought I’d say this about Fifi’s garden centre, but I love it,’ Emily says, choosing a pair of floral gardening gloves. ‘Thanks for thinking of us and taking us out.’

  I feel slightly guilty having been so consumed with my life – work and the shop – that I haven’t made much time recently for my sister.

  ‘Let’s have coffee. Would you like to choose a piece of cake? Or ice cream?’ I ask, trying to extricate a bright yellow plastic sunflower from Poppy’s sticky grasp.

  ‘I want it.’ She stamps one foot to emphasise exactly how much.

  ‘I think you should leave it with the others,’ Emily says.

  ‘Nooo!’

  ‘There’s only one left on the display – it will be lonely. We don’t want that, do we?’ I say, squatting down beside her.

  ‘Oh?’ she says. It’s a tense moment as we – not just me and Emily, but everyone else in the garden centre – wait to see if she’s going to explode again.

  ‘Why don’t you put this one back into the pot with the other one so they can live together happily ever after?’

  ‘You put it back, Auntie Zara,’ she says, suddenly pushing the sunflower into my hand.

  ‘You’re very good at this, Zara.’ Emily swaps Daisy’s car seat from one arm to the other. I’m laden with a mahussive changing bag, according to the principle of the smaller you are, the more kit you need.

  In the restaurant, the first round of coffee and cake is on me. Daisy remains asleep and Poppy eats chocolate cake and drinks squash before running off to play with the toys in the children’s corner where we can keep an eye on her.

  ‘I feel like I want to poke Daisy and wake her up so she sleeps at night. Murray says she’ll be perfect for working shifts when she’s older.’

  ‘Maybe she’ll be a midwife.’

  ‘Murray wants her to be a farmer.’

  ‘What about Poppy?’

  ‘Oh, who knows?’ Emily sighs.
‘She’s driving me mad. She hates the baby. I’ve spoken to the health visitor and we’re doing everything she suggested and it isn’t working. I don’t know what I’m going to do.’

  ‘She’ll get over it. She’s bound to be jealous at first. It’s a big shock finding you’re no longer the centre of attention at four. I see it all the time. You just have to be patient. I know Poppy’s still very young, but can’t you get her to think she’s helping out more with Daisy?’

  ‘I’ve done that, sent her on errands in the house to fetch a clean nappy or soother.’ Emily smiles wryly. ‘The last time I did that, she picked one off the floor and stuck it in Daisy’s mouth. She knew it was wrong.’

  ‘A few germs aren’t going to hurt the baby, are they? I hope you don’t mind me saying, but I think you’re making too much of this. Daisy’s growing so quickly, she’ll soon be crawling, and before you know it she’ll be toddling about. She’ll seem much more fun to play with then. Why don’t you let me and Gran have one of the girls for a day now and again?’

  ‘Because you’re both busy. It’s a lovely offer, but I can cope.’

  ‘Are you sure?’

  ‘Of course I’m sure,’ she says, with a hint of fire in her voice.

  I change the subject, noticing that Poppy has returned, and is clinging onto Emily’s arm. ‘Shall we have another round of cake?’

  Poppy has a healthy appetite, but mine seems to have disappeared. I’m going to see Lewis on Monday and, even though it’s just because he’s supposed to be helping me out with Frosty, I can hardly wait.

  CHAPTER SEVEN

  A Dog’s Dinner

  On the Monday morning, I’m showered and dressed and I’ve done the papers by the time James turns up to deliver them.

  ‘You didn’t have to do that, you know,’ Gran says, placing two mugs of tea on the counter. ‘Where are you off to today? You’re looking . . .’ she frowns as if struggling to find the right words, ‘. . . all glammed up. I love the nails.’ She peers at my hands. ‘What are those? Daisies?’

  ‘Some kind of white flower, stencilled onto a blue background,’ I say, showing them off. ‘Would you like me to do yours sometime?’

  ‘What would I want mine done for?’ she says with a dismissive snort.

  ‘Because you’re green with envy,’ I tease.

  ‘Maybe I am,’ she concedes.

  ‘You can choose whatever theme you like. I’d like to do it; we should have a girls’ night in sometime.’

  She smiles, making me wish I’d thought of it before.

  ‘Anyway, where are you going?’

  ‘I thought I’d told you that I’m taking Frosty to the Sanctuary with Lewis.’ Gran looks at me blankly. She doesn’t remember. ‘Didn’t you get Norris from there years ago?’

  She remembers that.

  ‘I took him as a kitten when Gloria Brimblecombe ran the rescue centre with Talyton Animal Rescue. Oh, it was a terrible place. The people were kind to the animals, but it was like they were in prison, waiting for someone to love them.’

  ‘Please don’t make me feel guilty.’

  ‘I expect they’ll find her a lovely home.’ Gran rubs at her temple, leaving a red mark. ‘You won’t let them put me away, will you?’

  ‘Why?’ I try to make light of her concern. ‘What have you done to deserve it, apart from overcharge for a few sweets?’

  ‘I’m not talking about prison. I’m talking about your mum and dad plotting to put me in a home.’

  ‘They won’t make you. They can’t force you to do anything.’

  ‘They’ll fix it so it looks as if I’m losing my marbles and then go for power of eternity.’

  ‘You mean power of attorney.’

  ‘Do I?’ Gran bumbles on. ‘You heard what they said. They’ve virtually chosen a place for me. I expect they’ve put a deposit on a room by now.’

  ‘I don’t believe they’ve gone that far.’

  ‘Well, I want you to promise me that you won’t let them cart me off to an old people’s home. I couldn’t bear to leave the shop – it’s filled with memories.’ Her voice is faint and her face etched with sadness. ‘Promise me,’ she repeats.

  ‘I’m not sure I can do that . . .’ I shrug. ‘Things change.’

  ‘Zara, I’m relying on you to do this for me,’ she insists. ‘There’s no one else.’

  How can I refuse her when she’s been so good to me? Yes, I could just about have afforded to rent a place on my own, or I could have lived in Claire’s spare room for a while, but it was Gran who suggested I move in with her so I could pay off my credit card bills and save some money – Paul and I had very little after the fertility treatment and the divorce – and she could spoil me.

  ‘I promise,’ I say eventually. ‘Anyway, I don’t know why we’re worrying about this. There’ll never be any need for you to move. You’re fit and well, apart from the creaky knees, and I can look after you.’

  ‘You can’t look after me for ever. One day I might need a carer coming in.’

  ‘Why?’

  ‘When you meet someone special and move out,’ Gran says quietly.

  ‘If I do, they’ll have to move in with us,’ I suggest.

  ‘So what happened to my other granddaughter, the one who said she wouldn’t let anyone court her again? It doesn’t have anything to do with Lewis, does it?’ She reaches out and covers my hand with hers, smiling as she looks towards the door. Talk of the devil, here’s your young man.’

  ‘Let me go and grab my bag,’ I say quickly, taking the opportunity to check my make-up and hair before returning downstairs in a pair of flats. I feel nervous and excited at the same time, keen to make a good impression.

  ‘Your gran thinks I’m your young man,’ Lewis grins. ‘What have you been saying to her?’

  ‘Nothing. I don’t know where she’s got that from,’ I say, giving her a look. She’s grinning too, her mouth a toothless cavern, making me realise this is part of her and Emily’s plan to set me up, just that my sister is more subtle about it. ‘Gran! Your teeth. I’ll see you later.’

  ‘Take as long as you like,’ she says. ‘I hope the dog is better – I’d quite like to have met her.’

  ‘I’ll take a picture to show you,’ I say.

  Lewis and I wait in reception at Otter House under the stern eye of Frances, the receptionist. She must be close to retirement by now, although her outfit is far from retiring. She’s wearing a wig of spun candyfloss, pale orange rather than pink, glasses inlaid with crystals, a wedding ring, and an eye-catching lime and yellow tunic. A widow who lost her husband in a fishing accident, she’s since remarried and is living in a house opposite the church.

  ‘Frosty’s ready for you.’ Izzy calls us through to the consulting room, her eyes drawn to Lewis. ‘He’s lovely,’ she says aside to me and I don’t like to disillusion her. It’s rather seductive, imagining I’m attached to such a gorgeous and young man. ‘Are you going to take her on?’

  ‘Izzy,’ Maz warns as she joins us with Frosty at her side, ‘I wish you wouldn’t put pressure on people like that. Zara doesn’t want a dog.’

  ‘But it’s like she found you,’ Izzy says, as Frosty spots me and starts wagging her tail.

  ‘I can’t have a dog,’ I say, fighting my instinct to kneel down and throw my arms around her. ‘They aren’t my thing.’

  ‘But she’s soooo sweet. Look at her.’ Izzy holds out her hands. ‘She wouldn’t hurt a fly.’

  Even if I did soften because she is cute and I feel safe here at the moment, I can’t have her. ‘I’m living with my gran – I don’t think she and her old cat would cope.’

  ‘Are you talking about Norris from the paper shop?’ Izzy asks. ‘He has a bit of a reputation. He left a couple of nasty souvenir scratches up our assistant’s arm when he came in for a checkup recently.’

  ‘I can’t inflict a dog on Norris and Gran.’ Heavy-hearted, I stroke Frosty’s head. ‘We’ll take her on up to the Sanctuary.’


  ‘It’s very kind of you to offer.’

  ‘It’s the least I can do – you’ve been great.’

  Izzy puts Frosty on a rope lead which makes me feel uncomfortable, worrying if wearing a noose around her neck will remind her of where she came from. I wish I’d thought to buy her a leather one from Overdown Farmers, or the garden centre, where they had some on display in the pet section yesterday.

  Lewis takes Frosty outside while I’m saying goodbye to Maz, who is consoling Izzy as she sniffs into a tissue.

  ‘Izzy gets too attached. She’ll never change,’ Maz says in explanation.

  ‘I thought you were going to put her in the back,’ I say, as Lewis encourages Frosty to jump onto the passenger seat next to me in the pick-up.

  ‘It’s safer to have her in the front where you can keep her under control.’

  ‘Safer for whom?’

  ‘The dog, of course. Oh, Zara, I’m teasing. She’ll be fine – I have a way with dogs . . . and women, or so I’ve been told.’

  I don’t know what to say. ‘Are you trying to chat me up?’

  ‘Maybe.’ As he reverses out of the car park, he slides his hand along the back of the seat behind me, a gesture that makes the hairs on my neck tingle with a desire to feel his touch on my skin.

  ‘Do you know where you’re going?’ I sit with Frosty at my side, keeping an eye on her tongue and her big white teeth. Every so often, she presses against me and glances up, and I swear she’s smiling.

  ‘She thinks you’re taking her somewhere exciting.’

  ‘Thanks for that. Now I feel bad because she’ll be disappointed.’ I look at her brown eyes, the expectation and joy in her expression. How am I going to part with her? ‘She’ll think I’m abandoning her all over again.’

  ‘She will,’ Lewis agrees, and I wish he didn’t. ‘She’s having a rough time of it, and who knows how long it will take for them to find her a new home? She’s quite cute, but she isn’t the most appealing dog in the world. It could take months to find someone who falls in love with her.’

  ‘Oh, please don’t say that.’

  ‘It’s the truth.’ I catch his eye as he glances towards me and I realise what he’s up to.